Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize