fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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