Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles

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(847): View more from Illinois

i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago

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(248): View more from Michigan

I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.

(715): View more from Wisconsin

We should party with her soon

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(214): View more from Texas

okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you

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(679): View more from Michigan

I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places

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(801): View more from Utah

just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.

(801): View more from Utah

which is fantastic by the way.

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