i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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