Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
this boner is exhausting
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You did what with his pubic hair?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
