the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
