He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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