You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
