I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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