guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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