we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
