YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I can text with my tongue
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
