Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
