And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
