Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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