i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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