No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
