someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
