the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
When are your genitals available?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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