Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
