Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
