'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
