What a fucking waste of an outfit
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
