take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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