go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
