So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
