if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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