it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
