i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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