I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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