i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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