lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
