We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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