I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
