I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
