She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
