sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
