Do vagina's smell?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Found the puke drawer
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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