I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Reggie can tackle my bush.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
