Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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