Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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