the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The air taste purple.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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