Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
