either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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