just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
