it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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