i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
