She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
