sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
