I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
