went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
